Wedding in Botswana

 Wedding toasts and blessings

 Me with my host mom (brown) and her two friends

 One of the many wedding dances by the wedding party

Me and this cutie pie who fell in love with my camera

I am back from a whirlwind of a trip and some of the most amazing, scariest adventures of my life. However, for this post I just want to detail some of the highlights of my time before I even left for the trip as it included a wedding.

The Saturday right before leaving for midsemester break, my hostmom invited me to come along to the wedding of her coworker’s sister. I’ve been dying to go to a wedding here so of course I jumped on the opportunity.

The drive out to the village of Molepolole was pretty long but along the way I was able to see a lot more of Botswana and various villages in between Gaborone and Molepolole including Mmanoko.  Also along the way my hostmom explained how for weddings in Botswana the whole community is invited and you are allowed to bring whoever and however many people you want. It’s a huge affair and the family presenting the wedding is expected to be able to provide food for everyone that shows up.

We drove for around an hour (with a stop at a gas station to use the restroom as we were not sure if there were bathrooms at the wedding) and then turn down a dirt road and in the backyard of this house is a huge white tent set up and people all over the place. As we were walking towards the tent my host mom’s friend who came with us told me that they always use huge white tents for weddings and various other colors for other occasions. We are walking in and my host mom goes, “Right on time”—we were walking in as they were praying! There is my first clue that this wedding is not like ones in the US. The way it basically works is that there is a ceremony during the week and then one weekend there is a party at the brides’ home village and the next at the groom’s home village.  

After being escorted to a table we listened to the pastor say some prayers and give some speeches (all in Setswana), heard the choir sing, multiple people give toasts and acknowledge the relatives of the bride and groom. It was so, so hot in that tent and yet many of the women were wearing blue, plaid, woolen shawls. My mom said that the women who are married and related to the bride are supposed to wear them as they are seen as wise and supposed to give the bride advice on married life.

It was finally time to eat: Buffet style. I loved the food-all traditional Batswana food. We had seswaa (pulled beef basically), chicken, various coleslaws, beet salad, bean salad, squash, rice and samp which I loved (called setampa in Setswana, I think). Unlike the others at my table I completely emptied my plate-it was so good.

What’s interesting at the wedding was the manner in which dishes were shared so casually. When someone needed a glass they just came over and took an empty one from the table even if it was already used. Same with plates. That struck me as odd but it seemed the norm here.

Once everyone had eaten came time for dancing but it mainly just focuses on the bridal party. The bride and groom get up from their table in their private tent and start dancing as they make their way to the main house to change into new attire. Originally the bride wore the typical white puffy dress but it is tradition for the uncle to buy her a dress so she goes and changes into that one. After waiting for like an hour, the bridal party comes back out and does some dances. It was funny because we had all arranged our chairs outside the tent to watch the dance but then people started standing in front of us and there rang up a loud chorus of “Eh, Eh, Eh” and “You are not transparent.” Unfortunately this did nothing to stop people from standing in front of us but still thought it was interesting.

The bridal party does some dancing, nothing too complicated before going back to the main house to change once again. We wait and wait, meanwhile I started playing with this little girl who feel in love with my camera. The bridal party comes back out and does very similar dancing.

They then opened gifts which entailed a family member opening the gifts and then telling the bride and groom what they received. This was the same thing at the baby shower I went to in the beginning of the semester: the people who the gifts are for didn’t actually open them but are told what they have been given.

By this time it was getting late and we were about to head home but not before I saw the bride throw the bouquet. Guess some components of a wedding are universal!

On the way home my mom was explaining that this was a pretty typical wedding except this was a little less organized than most. Usually when the bride and groom dance, everyone makes a circle around them ensuring that everyone can see. It’s weird to me to think of this of all things being organized in Bots as I sure haven’t seen a lot of organization in this country.

Overall I had a really great time at the wedding and it was one of those times when I was so happy to have chosen a homestay as it allowed me to experience much more of Batswana culture than I would have if I lived on campus.

Blog post to come soon with my crazy time in Namibia, Zambia and northern Botswana!